How (Not) To Work From Home

So you think you’re ready to work from home? You want to quit your job and start an alpaca sweater mail order company, or an eBay shop selling Victorian blouses.. or any other home-based enterprise? Maybe you want to become a full-time blogger. Sounds like you definitely want to work from home. Welcome, you can.. just don’t do any of these:

To work from home, absolutely do not:

  1. Spend the day in your jammies: it’s not nice, you won’t like the look of yourself by 4PM.. what if there’s a delivery? SO unglamorous.
  2. Go without makeup/shaving/trimming your luxuriant beard for the same reason. Being groomed makes you sound better on the phone. Fact.
  3. Forget to smile when talking to contractors, PR people, customers, telephone canvassers: fake it till you make it really works here. Smiling is contagious and just doing it really puts you in the mood to say nicer things, be more sociable and really engage with others. You’ll get better results.
  4. Work in bed at night. Stop sometime.. it gets addictive, crossing things off the list, making sure every part of your five-year plan is in operation. But, you know, tomorrow.
  5. Try to work both ends of the candle. I once read that some writers live totally at night, as they’re night owls anyway and they found it productive. Yep, my friendships suffered, but I got a lot of inspiration at night. Could work if you’re dealing with people in another timezone, however.
  6. Sit all day: get a stand up desk: apparently it’s like running a few marathons and you’ll look hotter without the desk muffin. You know.
  7. Forget to eat. Seriously, that’s a thing, when you work from home. Sometimes, marooned at your desk, so far from the fridge, it can slip your mind.. until you rush to the door in your pjs at 4PM, that is. Slump.

That should hold things for now.. Maybe I should repeat, when you work from home, don’t work in bed. Just sleep, read.. or whatever.