So Karoline and I were walking into Wholefoods on Fairfax one morning, just before she rushed off to San Fran (boo, why didn’t I go too?!) and we were talking this and that. You know, the usual, travel, Scandinavia (she’s from Norway, don’t you know, tall, blonde, beautiful with that enviable health that glows in the dark, and that’s the reason I say, Hej: Hello!) and of course, love, ambitions, careers, stuff.
We cross the parking lot, the sun shining in true early morning LA fashion: clean and piercing, and we’re assailed by a cry that makes us both jump.
DANG, I Love Your Jeans!
This from a lady in wraparound reflective shades, smirking to herself knowingly, who proceeded to tell us the recipe for thriftily fulfilling our future distressed jean cravings. I mean K’s jeans were RIPPED, that’s for sure. And torn denims are all over the shop this year. If you didn’t bag ’em last, 2015 is your moment. Either get some awesome leg (un)coverings from your fave designer or follow our informant’s instructions to the t, I mean the j. No loitering in parking lots necessary.
BTW, Wholefoods is good. If you haven’t gone there and you’re geographically or financially challenged (yes, you need to mortgage your house for a couple of sprouted bean burritos.. but why not? Life’s for living!) then here’s a handy app for making their Delumptious recipes. (Delumptious not a word? put that red pen away, Miss Cleverpants, and get grazing. Better yet, start busting your jeans.)
Now this is a project to get you off the couch tonight, you tired and emotional New Year babe!
Smart Jeans R.I.P.
(Get them from a thrift store, get them from your still-have-the-label-on-cos-they-never-fit pile, get them off your annoying S.O. for a revenge rip. (You’ve seen Taylor Swift let the scissors fly in the “Blank Space” vid.. now’s the time to join her. You don’t have to know method acting to get in the zone, that pest has it coming.. Right?! ?DV
- bleach (optional)
- Find the knee, (or appropriate place) stick the scissor through the denim and slash. Feels good, no, and kind of sinful? Good girl.
- Make desired length of opening: if the jeans never fit, you could take this line down the leg, or in spurts, leaving some links. Try on the side instead, from below the hip and down, if you’re feeling funky. (Make sure to wear your boy-shorts. This look is not for the thong-clad, unless you’re Brazilian, in which case I bow to your superior knowledge.)
- Shred ’em, rub em with sandpaper, unfray ’em, scrub ’em with bleach. You’re on your own here, wherever the madness takes you, that’s the endgame. You could also try the neat horizontal slit approach if you’re not feeling that brave. But you are, riotgrrl, aren’t you?!
- Heels, sneakers, leopard-skin platforms with glitter ankle socks – the world’s your oyster, butterbean. Wear them with pride, especially if they’ve been culled from some post-romantic war zone. You’ve earned them.**
- If it’s all too much and Netflix has you pinned to your beanbag, or you’ve just had diamond studded gels put on your digits and you can’t touch, like, anything, Urban Renewal has done all the work for you! ‘S’OK, I’m not judging!
** DV does not endorse the wilful ripping of any jeans except your own. Entertainment purposes only. ?
Have fun.. All that ripping burns up calories, and it’s a great way to start the year! Grrrr!
Karoline’s Outfit Of The Day
Leather Jacket: Top Shop, Similar Here
Ripped Jeans: Vintage Levis: Similar Here
Pink Backpack: Fjällräven
Photography: Dear Velvet