5 Ways to keep your cool when life heats up.
We all have triggers which make us wobble: interviews, dates, difficult colleagues, icky times in relationships. How to overcome them? The trick is to train yourself in the art of engaging and confidence, just as you’d train for any sport… and why not treat life like a sport? It’s not about beating other’s to the finish line (unless that’s your thing!) it’s about living with verve.
VERVE: Energy, Full of Life, Vigour, Sparkle, Spark, Light
Controversial? Not really. You know those awesome green smoothie, chia/berry compote, avocado toast pics you drool over on Instagram? Try making one and consuming it! Breakfast has so many benefits, it’s backed up by Science! If Morning crankiness, mid-morning tiredness and inability to perform well don’t bother you, how about getting a step up on your ideal weight maintenance, cholesterol and building good muscle? Nope? OK, here’s the big one: eating better makes you look better. Finis.
Simple stretching in the morning, a full-blown yoga class in the evening, or cycling to work. Good for everything from thighs and hips to your brain. You know all this? You do? So get up and move!
Seriously, singing a little under your breath as you walk down the street is very uplifting. Do it in the shower then, you shy flower! Or get on your bike and yell, full throttle on the weekends. An ashram I stayed in India had us singing all hours of the day and night (no I’m not suggesting you chant in Sanskrit, silly!) and it was incredibly motivating. Believe me, I hated it a first.. but it works!
Always make eye contact if you can, in interviews, small exchanges, like in a store, or on dates.. even meeting your partner’s mother! It makes the other person feel included and if you do it with the right attitude, helps you really touch another. We’re all so fixated on our screens: phones, laptops, videos, movies. What are we avoiding.. and what are we missing? Look at that person and show your sincerity. You may just make a connection and you’ll appear much more confident. (If you don’t like the way the look back at you, that’s another story! Just look away now).
On the other hand, in awkward interviews and difficult situations, look at the other person, taking your time to answer. Being hurried or rushed by someone is a sure sign of nervousness and dampens confidence. Make like a big cat in the wild: use the power of your eyes. Purr..
It may not be Fashion to smile, but it goes a long way in boosting your confidence and helping you communicate with others. I smile when I’m on the phone, really: it helps me put my point across pleasantly and I think it has an infectious quality.
Try frowning or glaring while you’re on the phone to a friend and see how your tone changes.. Shudder. Don’t be afraid to make a small, lighthearted joke to lighten the atmosphere when things get tricky, even with strangers.. but pleasantly does it. No craziness please! Start with this handy list of conversation starters: 10 of the Most Effective Ice Breakers for Starting Meaningful Conversations, then make your own. Soon you’ll be the dazzling wit at soirées, holding them rapt.
Till then, practise the art of engaging and boost your confidence, like a sport.DV
Coat: Hush | Bag: Vintage Charles David | Shoes: Mui Mui – Similar Jimmy Choos
Photographs: Rob Homewood